


Warrior

by sunshoyo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt and comfort, Intimacy, Kissing, M/M, Pre Shiganshina, Reibert - Freeform, Shiganshina arc, Wall Maria - Freeform, armored titan - Freeform, colossal titan, dont copy to another website
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:35:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23944027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshoyo/pseuds/sunshoyo
Summary: “𝐈 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮”, 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Warrior

“You don’t have to be scared, Reiner. I’m here.”, the warm hands steadily rubbed Reiner’s taut back. His grey undershirt was damp from all the sweat after he woke up from a deep and horrifying nightmare.

“For how long?”

Bertholdt’s breath hitched at the question. Reiner’s voice was huskier than usual, his eyes holding so much pain too. It was like a glass so fragile and easily shattered that Bertholdt himself felt an impending fear to burst within him.

“We fled from our hometown as a child. We didn’t know anything back then. Bertholdt, tell me, what am I doing here?”, Reiner half cried and half laughed. He casually wiped tears off his eyes.

Truth be told, the nightmare was indistinguishable from the memories. Perhaps, it was the past memory of the Armored Titan vessel, yet it feels so vivid. His heart stopped beating when a sharp pain stabbing through his neck, like a sharp glinting blade of the Survey Corps weapon. There were myriads of destructive explosions which rendered him helpless in the dream.

_Bloodshed, shrill screams, comma._

Reiner’s head throbbed. His head was heavy and burning hot. When the flashes of those gruesome images stopped, Reiner paused in his stance.

Bertholdt was already glued on his spot. Practically unmoving and dead quiet. It’s the 5th time this week. He knew Reiner would contract intense pressure whenever their big plans were set into motion. Now that their War Chief himself arrived in Paradis Island, they could neither dawdle in uncertainty nor controlled by their personal sentiments anymore.

“Reiner. This is not the time to lose yourself”, Bertholdt warned. He felt a pang of guilt in his heart as he uttered those words. How cruel can he be to refuse Reiner comfort and care? How selfish can he be to forge a strong façade in front of Zeke?

Reiner seems to be shocked by the response and it elicits an unpleasant laugh from him. His chest vibrating and hands closing his eyes, laughing quietly this time.

“Bertholdt. Not you, too. Are you gonna leave me too? Are you? BERTHOLDT. Tell me.”, he roared. Voices thundering across the vicinity. His eyes were bloodshot, face contorted in anguish and sadness.

“Reiner, we have a duty as warriors. We are going home. WE ARE GOING BACK TO THE HOMETOWN WE LOST!”, Bertholdt explodes. Hands fisting the collar of his grey undershirt, an attempt to knock some sense into Reiner.

Though abrasive, always effective.

Reiner’s eyes slowly dimmed, like an extinguished flame, if it was even possible. Those amber eyes turned into the shade of coal, burnt thoroughly by sparks of fire. Only occasionally do Bertholdt catch a flicker of happiness in those eyes. Like when Reiner passed the Warrior program, or when they hiked along to see the panoramic scenery during their Cadet Corps days with Eren and Armin, or when Reiner and him shared their first kiss.

Bertholdt’s eyes softened.

“I’ve always and will love you. You’re the best thing to ever happen in this short life of mine.”

  
“Don’t get cocky. We only have less than a decade to live—”, Reiner retorted. Hoarse voice laced with exhaustion and unprecedented sigh.

“THAT'S WHY. I AM TELLING YOU THAT WE WILL GO HOME. TOGETHER. NO MATTER WHAT.”, Bertholdt cried in frustration, his heart wrenched and the tight grips gradually loosened and soon the crumpled fists were used to wipe off the tears from his face.

  
Reiner looked sullen. He felt so ugly.

It’s ironic how two of them, considered two of the strongest Titan imaginable, were given a duty to commit genocide. People would reckon them _merciless_ , _monstrous_ , and a _killing machine_. Yet, here they are pathetically sobbing in fear and in hopelessness.

Reiner first came to the land with a huge resolve that the devil race must be wiped out. Things would have been better if they never existed from the start. But along the way he learnt, these people he killed, they are the same as them. They were nothing short of human. In the fading lights of twilight, they were plunged into the crevice of the world, foreign and far, unapproachable and aloof from the chaos of the world, protected by the Walls.

  
“Do I deserve to live, Bertholdt? Is it really alright for me to keep breathing?”, Reiner questioned though he knew the true answer. His breaths were erratic from all the mental breakdown sessions.

“We can never know if there is tomorrow.”, Reiner continued. Reiner is not wrong. This final battle that is about to ensue would cost their lives and somehow, Reiner felt restless as seconds passed by. He felt like a void was slowly carving in his heart, but he couldn’t be sure.

Why does he feel like he is about to lose something? Those sickening imageries that haunt him earlier bound to act as a warning, or could it be a mere clouded judgements?

Reiner’s heart felt heavy.

Bertholdt sensed how tense Reiner was. For him, Reiner was like the wind. His spirit was like the coil of the wind, floating. His mood was like the wind, unpredictable and subtle. His anger imitating a torrential storm, his sadness a turbulent wave of typhoons. Spiralling in regret and swallowing all blame, allowing him to house all misery.

How Bertholdt wished he could soothe Reiner, making all his worries disappear. Under all that ragged and imperfect mask, Reiner was just a human. Longing for love and comfort and nothing more. _**Hell**_ , he would give up his life for Reiner’s happiness.

  
“Reiner. Look at me. I want you to remember this.”, Bertholdt fumbled a bit and pulled Reiner into him, chins lifted up and a soft kiss was rewarded.

“No matter what happens, live for me. Make me your reason to live. So, don’t you dare to die on me.”, Bertholdt deepened the kiss. Fingers now burying itself into the golden locks of Reiner’s which he responded with a hum.

The curtain of the tents flapped on top of Wall Maria, and the woodfire nearby crackled as the wind brushed past them that it tinged something in Reiner. He wished to become the wind, free and uncaring of the world. His calloused hands tenderly massaged Bertholdt’s exposed skin, pulling him in closer.

Pearls of tears slid past his high cheekbones, wetting his fluttery eyelashes. The hands then cupped Bertholdt’s face. All was silent then. As if the cry of humanity was never heard, the destruction of the wall never happened, the torture they went through in their childhood were never a fragment of memory.

  
He whispered into Bertholdt’s lips, “ _I promise to live for you._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Reiner and Bertholdt's relationship is a dynamic and very intimate for me. It transcends everything else and I seem to find some comfort in it.


End file.
